The Daily Ant hosts a weekly series, Philosophy Phridays, in which real philosophers share their thoughts at the intersection of ants and philosophy. This is the second contribution in the series, submitted by Larisa Svirsky. It is inspired by Aesop’s fable, The Philosopher, the Ants, and Mercury.


The Hypocrantic Oath

 

A philosopher sees a ship wreck
and he says, “Oh, God damnit to heck!”
While cursing his God
some ants solemnly plod
by the thinker, who sits on the deck.

 

When the ants surround this dear fellow
he lets out a powerful bellow.
One ant stings, and he kills,
admires his own skills.
God says, “Okay, murderer, mellow!”

 

The philosopher looks up confused
when he hears that his God is bemused.
The thinker says, “God,
don’t you think that it’s odd
that men die on your watch?”, unamused.

 

God says, “Look what you’ve done to those ants,
who did nothing but crawl on your pants!”
The thinker backs down
though he says with a frown
that this won’t be the last of his rants.

 


larisaLarisa Svirsky is a PhD candidate in the philosophy department at University of North Carolina – Chapel Hill. Her dissertation is on marginal agents and moral responsibility. She is also known for her penchant for crafting remarkable philosophical limericks.