Paula Poundstone’s Ant

Paula Poundstone, the host of NPR’s Live from the Poundstone Institute and a regular Wait Wait… Don’t Tell Me! panelist, included ants in a bit about her asexuality in a 2006 standup special.

I’m sure there’s something horribly wrong with me, sexually, I have no doubt of that… and that if I went to a sex therapist every day and talked for hours and journaled and took medication and watched educational films and worked with plastic figurines… I’m sure that it could be overcome. But quite honestly, right, from where I’m standing now I can’t imagine any physical sensation that I would enjoy more than sleep.

I’m a single working mom with three kids, 10 cats, a big stupid dog, a bearded dragon lizard, a bunny, and one ant left from my ant farm; I don’t go to bed at night, I pass out! The idea that I would go into my bedroom and there’d be someone in there with whom I’d had to have an activity… is just upsetting to me.

We’d normally say that we think the world needs more comediants like Paula Poundstone. Alas, her reply to a question in Mother Jones revealed that Poundstone is actually anti-ant. But ants get the last laugh: they are, in fact, in space.