Editorial: Halper and Taibbi Abandon Leftist Cause, Slam Ants

We surely need not remind our readers that human leftists and ants go hand in tarsus. You can imagine our surprise, then, when Fraternal Correspondant Joshua Blanchard alerted us to a shocking, anti-ant video documenting a recent conversation between alleged leftists Matt Taibbi and Katie Halper.

Before getting to the video, remember that labor unions endorse ants, as established in this May Day advertisement. Recall also that prominent investigative journalist and committed leftist Glenn Greenwald took time out of a short visit to Chicago to see ants in the Field Museum, marveling that one “looks like a musical note”. Any leftist worth their salt must needs recognize the beauty and inspiration that is found in the ways of the noble and collectivist ant.

Leftist Glenn Greenwald observing ants

Which brings us, alas, to Halper and Taibbi and their “Useful Idiots” podcast. At minute 11:00 of the below video, the two begin a vicious diatribe railing against ants. Taibbi plays a simple video of ants foraging for food, and Halper all but recoils from the screen, declaring her should-be comrades as “so disgusting” and “a horrific image”, and Taibbi muses that “I guess to some people that would be terrible.” Freudiant projection much? Halper even remarks that “it’s like an insectile Holocaust”, casting ants in the role of Nazis, to which Taibbi quickly assents with “that’s true, yes”.

Don’t believe us? Jump to 11:00 and watch the video for yourself (content warning: egregious ant-bashing):

What so befuddles us, beyond the obvious, is that these two self-described leftists join ranks with conservatives and fascists to dunk on ants.

Do Halper and Taibbi really want to lean into a Biden-esque, convoluted opposition to ants?

Are Halper and Taibbi somehow unaware that Trump demeans street protestors as “ants”, which he perceives as a horrible insult?

“We were in the 68th floor of Trump Tower and we looked down on the sidewalks and there were thousands and thousands of people,” [Trump] said. “They looked like ants, little people going all over — boom, boom, boom — so little, ’cause when you’re 68 floors, they look really small. But there were a lot of them.” (New York Times, August 28th, 2018)

Can Halper and Taibbi have their heads buried so deeply into an antlion sand trap that they’ve never heard conservative hero and leftist enemy Ronald Reagan wantonly malign the ways of the ant?

“You and I are told we must choose between a left or right, but I suggest there is no such thing as a left or right. There is only an up or down. Up to man’s age-old dream-the maximum of individual freedom consistent with order or down to the ant heap of totalitarianism.” (“A Time For Choosing”, 1964)

It is the position of this media outlet that ants are to be loved and cherished. We know with a certainty that even an anteater is unable to disrupt that if leftists join with – and learn from – their littlest sisters, major successes are just over the next anthill.

Genuine leftists, labor unions, and anti-fascist protestors are for the ants. Halper and Taibbi: What say you?