Editorial: We Speak for the Ants

There is a moment in the life of every media outlet dedicated to providing premier ant content for general consumption when it becomes inescapably clear that silence is no longer an option. Formicid friends, readers, and inquilines, we at The Daily Ant have arrived at such a moment. We have been silent for two full years and in so doing have inadvertently allowed to fester that which by any other name would smell as sweaty: myrmecophobia. Behold, if you must, this horrific headline peddled by the bipedal Cable News Network: “A face only a mother could love: Terrifying photo shows what an ant looks like close-up”.

Terrifying? The only terror here is the vertebrate media corporation promulgating an immoral and bizarre ideology whereby a wise ant queen’s love of this mesmerizing and gorgeous visage indicates anything other than that such a face inspires adoration:

Photo: Eugenijus Kavaliauskas, for Nikon’s Small World Photomicrography Competition

And yes, if you can believe it, there is in fact more. The CNN article (read: hit piece) opens with a reference to a Game of Thrones spinoff show:

“No, this photo doesn’t portray one of the new creatures on HBO’s ‘House of the Dragon,’ or an outtake from a horror movie. It’s an award-winning close-up photo of… an ant.”

Ignorance may be bliss, but CNN’s happiness is worth pittance compared to the ectothermic, chitinous truth. Maybe they should try reading even a single chapter of any book, like Chapter 54 of A Storm of Swords, the third installment of A Song of Ice and Fire:

“An ant who hears the words of a king may not comprehend what he is saying, and all men are ants before the fiery face of god.”

The sooner every media writer goes to the ant and observes the commonalities between humans and ants, the better. As a useful starting point, here are two beautiful ant species named after Game of Thrones dragons, Pheidole viserion and Pheidole drogon:

It is delightful to share the Earth with so many faces to love! Some may try to push a narrative that would have us forget this joy. We regret to inform those malfeasant actors that The Daily Ant has triumphantly returned to speak for the beloved creatures underfoot.