Editorial: Tennis, Flying Ants, and the Vertebrate Media

Thanks to a heads up from an avid reader who recently contacted us with the news, The Daily Ant has learned that this year’s Wimbledon tournament just received a great blessing. What blessing? Why, ants, of course!

AntsWimbledon.jpg
In a major upset, ants win! Photo: Oli Scarff/AFP/NYT/Getty Images

On Wednesday local time, millions of winged ants emerged to participate in a special nuptial flight the Brits call Flying Ant Day. While this should have been a cause for international celebration at this international Grand Slam tournament, the mainstream vertebrate media predictably responded with shock and horror. “Annoying” writes The New York Times. “Plague” and “menace” cries Deadspin. “Distraction” blathers The Guardian. “Anguish” and “irritation” whines The Telegraph. “Disruption” grumbles ESPN. “Bugs”, “pests”, and “irritants” vomits Reuters.

Yet the ants have emerged victorious, flying (and mating) above the slanderous fray. We here at The Daily Ant are not ashamed to voice our full-throated endorsement of these wondrous reproductives. As the world’s first publication dedicated to producing premier ant content, we also call on our vertebrate peers to retire their hateful anti-ant rhetoric. The formicid future is upon us!

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